ERAP ORDERS A PIZZA:

WAITER: SIR DO YOU WANT ME TO CUT YOUR PIZZA INTO 4 OR 8?

ERAP: 4 NA LANG, BAKA DI KO MAUBOS PAG 8. **********

VIOLENCE

PRESS: MR. PRES., WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT THE VIOLENCE HERE IN THE PHILS?

ERAP: I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO PLAY GUITAR...VIOLENCE PA!

Loi: Shoot! SHOOT!

ERAP: I Can't !! La na akong Film!!

Guard: Ang ID ninyo po? so nilabas ni erap ang ID niya.

Guard: Um..Ipin ninyo Po. ... Erap smiled.

Erap: tatlohin mo na para sigurado!

Erap: bili tayo ng sopdrinks at mani.

Gloria: Tinitigyawat ako sa mani e!

Erap: O Talaga!? ako sa mukha tinitigyawat!

Pangit: I think I'm CUTE! - kinain siya.

Taba: I think I'm SEXY! - kinain siya.

Erap: I think.. - kinain na.

Jinggoy: dad, di kita madadalaw ngayon. May urine test ako bukas. ( Dad, I can't visit you today. I have a urine test tomorrow)
Erap: Okay lang anak, aral kang mabuti ha. (that's okay, son. Just study well.)

Jinggoy: Dad, manganganak na po misis ko. (Dad my wife is about to give birth)
Erap: Dali tumawag ka ng ambulansya at dalhin natin sa Jollibee (Hurry, call for an ambulance and bring her to Jollibee)
Jingoy: dad bakit po sa Jollibbe (dad, why at Jollibee?)
Erap: May free delivery doon (There is free delivery over there)

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